


Crash and fall down

by SimpleSourWolf



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 13:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2510063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleSourWolf/pseuds/SimpleSourWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A 16 year old boy named Thomas is fighting depression.<br/>*PLEASE SEE NOTES.*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crash and fall down

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this isn't fan fiction, or sterek or teen wolf or anything like that. But I had to write this story for english and I'm pretty freaking proud of this. So I thought I'd post it here and see what you guys think. Please give me some feedback on it and don't work, I'm working on some more Sterek!!  
> ~SimpleSourWolf

Crash And Fall.

 

_November 15th 2014_

_People said that it felt like drowning. Except you can see everyone else around you breathing. They said that it makes you numb, that it makes you feel like you can’t breath - like when the water fills your lungs._

_But they’re wrong. To me it feels like I’m crashing. Time slows down before you crash right? Well, that’s what it’s like. Time slows down and all your insecurities and emotions build up until they finally crash into you; and then you fall. You start to fall and no one’s there to catch you because you pushed everyone away._

_Or at least, that’s what it’s like to me._

_My name in Thomas. Thomas Rennerson. I’m a sixteen year old boy who’s fighting depression, and if I’m being honest, I think I’m losing._

_I guess it all started at the beginning of grade nine, My so called friends began to ditch me  for their new friends. They had no problem making new friends, but me? I found it difficult, nearly impossible. So I was left to struggle with my grades and my problems on my own. Needless to say, that year was hell. Grade 10 was no better._

_No one ever tells you that when you stop talking to people  you turn invisible. They don’t see you in the hallways, don’t notice that you’re a second away from breaking down. Even my parents stopped asking about my day. They wouldn’t even listen to me. My mom saw a few scars and now she won’t look me in the eye. I’ve pushed everyone away._

_In thought grade 11 brought one good change. I thought that maybe things would’ve changed. Some old friends started talking to me over summer break, But school changed it all. They never talk to me in person. Sure they smiled and waved, but god forbid they talked to me for once._

_Surprisingly, grade 11 brought one good change. Despite the fact that none of my “friends” talked to me, I did end up making one new one this year._

_Her name is lydia. She was new to our school and decided to be friends with me, of all people. I still don’t know why, but she makes me happy. Not in a love kind of way, but just having someone who’s there, who’ll listen. I told her my story, she listened - she understood._

“Hey Tom!” her voice make me snap my notebook shut.

“Hi..” I said softly, forcing a smile that I ,now she sees right through.

she smiles softly at me, putting her hand on top of mine, “How are you feeling today?”

“fine.” I answer, it’s a lie, she knows it too. She smiles softly again, squeezing my hand before letting go and shooting off into another one of her stories.

I love her stories, normally I could get lost in them, maybe even crack a smile. But not today, today in different. Today I feel like I’m on the edge, like one wrong move could set me off. And it does.

I knew that it’d be something stupid that would make me break. Something that should make me at least a bit  happier. It happens when I get home  from school.

“Hi Honey!” My mom calls when I walk in the door. She sound too cheerful too...Fake?

“Hey..” I reply, setting my backpack on the floor.

“How was school?” She asks, and I know that something isn’t right.

“Um, alright I guess.” i say hesitantly, “Mom, are you okay?” I ask.

She sighs and meets my eyes for the first time in months, they’re filled with concern, “I think I should ask you that.” She says softly, “You’ve been so distant lately..”

She goes on, and with every word she say, I get more and more angry, “I just want you to talk to me.” She finishes.

I stand there, staring at her for what feels like hours. And suddenly, I feel like I’m crashing.

“You want me to talk to you?” I exclaim, “You’re the one who stopped talking!

I saw the shock on her face, but i kept going.

“You haven’t asked me about my day in months!You can’t even look me in the eye anymore! How do you expect me to talk about my problems if you don’t listen?” I’m yelling now and she looked terrified and confused.

“Thomas, what are you-””

“Stop!” I yell, “You want me to talk? Fine, I’ll talk.” I run my hands through my hair, gathering my thoughts, “Do you have any idea what it's like, to feel like you're going to fall apart everyday? To feel like nobody cares, to feel alone? No, I don't think you do.” Every thought I’ve ever had just flows out of me. I yell at her, telling her everything since grade nine, accusing her of not caring.

I can’t stop, even if I wanted to. Even when Dad comes home, I yell at him too. The only reason I stop is because I start to cry, the lump in my throat stopping me from doing anything other than sobbing. So I run to my room, slamming the door and flinging myself onto the bed, screaming into my pillow.

Now I’m falling. I’m falling hard with no one to catch me. I feel helpless and alone.

Eventually, my cried stop and I drift off into an uneasy sleep, my dreams haunted with sad thoughts.

~~~

I wake up a few hours later, eyes blurry and an empty feeling in my chest.

Theres a hesitant knock on my door, I ignore it.

*Knock, Knock, Knock.*

Ignored.

“Tom?” a muffled voice called, “You okay? It’s lydia.”

I sighed, “No,” I mutter softly, getting up, “I’m not okay.” I said throwing the door open.

“Thomas,” She sighed, pulling me into a hug, “I was so worried.”

“Worried Why?” I ask bitterly, “It’s not like anyone else is.”

“You weren't answering your phone. Then you mom said that you broke down and that you’d been in your room for hours. I thought of the worst.”

“Lyds..” I sigh, “I don’t know what to do.” I paused, “I’m lost. I’m falling and there's no one to catch me.”

“I can.” She said after a moment of silence, “I will.”

“How?” I asked.

“by believeing..” She replied, “I believe in you , I believe that you can get over this. That’s how I can catch you.” She paused, “I can’t tell you how to get over this. But I believe that you can and will. Promise me.” she held out her pinkie to me, “Pinkie swear.”

I almost wanted to laugh, pinkie swearing isn’t exactlyy something 11th graders do. I looked at her hand then back to her.

“You can’t break a pinkie promisee.” She smiled softly.

I cracked a small smile and wrapped my pinkie around hers, “I pinkie promise,”

~~~

_november 17th 2015_

_I used to feel like I was crashing. A wall of emotions would crash into me and I would fall. Fall with no one to catch me. I used to feel alone and helpless, but not anymore._

_A year ago, I pinky swore my best friend that I would survive the crash and the fall, and I did._

_My name is Thomas. Thomas Rennerson. I’m a 17 year old boy. And I won the fight against depression. I won._

 

 


End file.
